- [andie voiceover]previously on foursome. breyer got to meet new andie, and i hatched aplan all on my own to get the last of josh'spheromones out of my bod. and it worked! mainly because alec spent theday handcuffed to courtney to work on theirrocky relationship. unfortunately, itdidn't stop my brother's band room busting.
- get off my sister! - [andie voiceovere] but ifinally stood up to my brother. - i'm all grown up now, and you're either gonnaneed to get on board or get out of my life. - [andie voiceover]and you know what? i think he's finally getting it. new andie, same foursome. (grunting)
- i'm blocked up like yogi. - cause he's a bear? - most def. i've gotta stop putting hotsauce on my churro, bro. - hey, man, you sureit's the tabasco and not the court fiasco? boom. - ooh, sick rhyme, bro. maybe, i don't know, man.
i've been trying to avoid her. i don't know if she's goingthrough menopause or what, but her emotionsare to the brink. - yeah, so why don't you end it? - and have her soball over my letterman? no way, bro, no way. it's gotta be her call. that way i'm off scott free. - yeah, i knowwhat you mean, man.
like, why is greer --girls, so annoying, you know? like, why can't you just end it? - like my sister, man. i can't believe she saidi was a bad big brother. everything i dois to protect her. - she's young, all right. she just want to have fun. - it's not her i don't trust. it's the me's.
look at what i didat her age, man! god, she's so ungrateful. (farting) - jesus, man! - you bring mesome toilet paper? - [josh] there you go. - [alec] oh, boy, i'm gonna need a lot more tp than this, bro. - this is the worstfirst fall date ever.
- are you bummed aboutthe fall equinox? i saw your mom working onthe float this morning. - what is fall equinox? is that, like, fancy couscous? ooh, pumpkin spice couscous? hello? what flavor couscous? - ugh, i'm surroundedby holla back girls. - when i was home schooled,on the first day of fall,
my mom and i would alwaysdo autumn activities. i always won harvest queen. - congratulations. - weren't you the only nominee. - yes. but it was still an honor. an honor i'm missingout on this year. you guys, ever sincei started here, i feel like my mom andi are growing apart.
- it's time for youto leave the nest. - uh, no, no, this is my float. i was gonna surprisemy mom with it. - yeah, that can't stay in here. ew. - you can't take it awayfrom me, i'm not ready. i will make this longdistance relationship work. - good for you, imogen. you and your mom are gonnabe so happy together.
- don't lie to her. ldrs never work. even if it's a shortdistance long distance, and you see eachother all the time, and you've been dating... i mean, related for years, it just doesn't work. i mean, imogen's mom isprobably pushing her away so she can homeschool some other kid.
why else would shebe okay with imogen never being around? she obviously isgetting what she needs from someone else in away that imogen can't! - courtney, don't projectyour relationship garbage onto imogen. (phone ringing) i can't. - [voicemail] noone is available
to take your call right now. - who are you with, flooze? - guru dakota, guru dakota,i need your help, please. - hey, scrub. get out, lock thedoor, lose my number, and accept the factthat you're probably gonna die alone. - is this a test? - yes, and you're failing.
now scram! - guru dakota iskinda being a dick. - i am just so sick andtired of the needies. everywhere i go,every class i'm in, some freshman fail findsme and asks me for advice. it's like i can'teven catch a break. i've been so busy tryingto finish my holy grail and leading my flock that i just haven'thad any he time.
i just need some space. - speaking of space,you haven't heard from alec today, have you? - ever since my big speech,alec's been avoiding me. which is amazing because it's only a matter oftime before my phero-boys start begging for more. once you go andie,you want more candy. i mean, it's a good thingi'm not into any of them,
cause they're clearly into me. - that confidence, though. - if he's avoiding you,then where has he been? - he has beenconstipated recently, so i don't know, the bathroom? - what has he been doing? who has he been doing? he's cheating on me! if he's not getting any from me,
then he must bemilking some other cow. (giggling) i did not meani'm a cow, dakota. - i'm sorry. - okay, you guys areall overreacting. your mom just probably droppedher phone in a pumpkin, your followers will forgetas quickly as they flocked, and alec is 40% notcheating on you. - i'm 100% gonna find out.
cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater. nobody two-times courtney todd. - good for her. she has a plan, just like i did. as long as sheexecutes it perfectly, like me, who knows? maybe by the end of the day, i'll be getting ready for a date with one of myextra curriculars.
bye! - yeah, i liked it betterwhen she hated herself. (cheerful music) (laughing) - guru dakota, mygirlfriend says she hates me in her sleep. is that sub-conscious? - no, no more advice. can't you see i'm on vacay?
i mean, where do you thinki got this sand from? okay. now, listen up, virgins. all y'all better spread the word that i will no longer be hounded with all of yourdesperate sex queries. it's like the swatch. it's a phase. i'm over it.
all i want to do is relax. sex is the last thingthat's on my mind. (disco music) damn. - good morning, class. my name is mr. zapp. i'm your new chemistry sub. i'll be taking overfor ms. willy today. - [student] [bleep]that ass ms. willy.
she a bitch. - i'm gonna writemy name on the board so you all don't forget it. - are you seeing this? - yeah, his penmanshipis the pits. - all right, my job is toteach you all chemistry. some have it, and some don't. did you see that? - yeah, he made a lame dad joke.
we all saw. - dakota green? would you mind coming uphere and assisting me? it's very nice tomeet you, dakota. - pleasure's all mine. - uh, we'll bewearing safety goggles for every lab we do this year. put those on. now, you wanna make surethat your goggles are tight,
all right, so that theyfit snug against your skin. thank you for yourhelp, mr. green. wanna have a seat? - either my brainis wired one way, or that man is coming onto me. - okay, dakota. everyone wants you. - just got flowers for somebody. - thank you.
uh, andie fixler? - that's me. i wonder who these are from. band geek must want more candy. - please, by allmeans, read it aloud. i'm very interested. - oh my god. - to andie, fromyour secret admiral. looks like i'm theone everyone wants.
like i said, date bythe end of the day. - i cannot believe my momhasn't texted me all day. i mean, who won harvest queen? probably one of thosesluts she's been teaching behind my back. - wow, courtney has gottastop teaching you this lingo. it's like a baby swearing. wrong, but hilarious. - okay, you know what?
whatever, i don't care. just as long asnobody takes my crown. - imogen, pretty surethat bad boy's all yours. vacay terminated? - no time for leisure whenthere's work ahead of me. - oh, no, dakota. - it's not in my head! - who's mr. zapp? - our chemistry teacher.
dakota thinks theyhave chemistry. - ew, dakota, you can't. no, not with a teacher. - i'm 18, and it's legal. plus, it's not in my head. he winked at me! - he probably had bunsenburner in his eye. - listen, troll, i refuseto doubt my gaydar. this teacher, he wantsall of my cookies,
and i will prove it. mr. zapp, my newest conquest. i shall call himmy golden goose. - ooh. who are those flowers from? - oh, this old things? they're from anactual secret admirer. - admiral. - whatever, at leastmine's not in my head.
i'm pretty sure usingdudes for pheromones made them want to phero-bone, and more so, fall headover heels in love with me. - what? - [imogen] ew. - i thought youdidn't dig any of them because they weren'tboyfriend material. - every girl loves flowers. - yeah, especiallybecause you never get any.
- true. - thanks, imogen. (phone buzzing) it's from an unknown number. "hope you like yo flowers, causei know you love carnations. "i know a lot about you. "your secret admirer." - wow, admirer's spelled right. his phone autocorrected.
- oh my god, if it'sone of those guys, and we end up getting married, they could, like, invent an app, and i'll end up hella rich. - oh my god, no,in all the ways. - someone's feelingextra, super affectionate. some candy, so youcan't rejection it. andie, fix my empty heart. from your secret admirer.
dance break! (dubstep music) - that was so legit. thanks, mr. shaw. - no, thank you. i haven't danced in... months. - mr. shaw, wasthis by any chance from abbot frangaucus?
he's in my chess club. - fangaucus, no. he's out with mono. yeah, it's bad. word to your mom! - [all] ooh. ooh! (shouting) ooh.
- awesome! hey, aaron. - it's pete. - right, sorry aaron. was this your doing? - hard no. (popping) (phone dinging) (upbeat pop music)
- "i have your email too. "i know you hate thesound of balloons popping, "but ima make sure nothingon you gets popped." see you in robotics! oh my god, frank! - it's lort. - thank you so muchfor my mix tape, frank. - that's a cd, that's a phone, and i'm offended.
clearly, i amtechnically savvy enough to send you an mp3. i'm in robotics. and it's the 21st century. i'm thirsty. - cool, yeah, sure, right. how do i put this in this? - no. - come on!
okay, i'm afraid to ask. was this you guys? - i can't be sure. to be honest with you, ithink we have a problem. - true, we've done,like, a lot of drugs and, to be honest, our shortterm memory is not great. - i think i movedin with my aunt. - no, that could've beena lamp next to a suitcase. - super helpful stuff, guys.
- i wanna touch it. - no! thank god. josh? (bell ringing) ah! - whoa, you good? this is one huge teddy bear. - oh my god, i can'tbelieve it's you.
- are you calling me? - i don't see howthat'd be possible. okay, well, thishas been confusing. there you go, see you later. - hello? - [voice on phone] i've beenwatching you for a long time. who is this? - [voice on phone]don't worry about it. i know what you want, andi'm gonna give it to you.
my surprises have just begun. what do you want from me? - your hall pass, drama queen. and i'll be confiscating this. now get to class. - i gotta admit,after eliminating allof my usual suspects from my secret admirer list,i was a little freaked. but then it dawned on me that this could be even better.
there's a guy at breyerwho has been paying such close attention to me that he could be theman of my dreams, and i haven't even met him yet. how romantic is that? - okay, mr. zapp heldthe door open for me with his right hand. piercing your rightear means you're gay. he's gay!
ooh, he's so into me! - okay, clearly you aren'tgoing to be any help, so i'll year book this puzzle. not scott freedman, asexual. not adam newan. he's into asian chicks. not rami ryder, he's a furry. - who's a furry? - imogen, per why?
- oh, sorry. i picked these upin the courtyard. smells like thetime with my mom. she was my secret admirerwhen i was home schooled. - how was it a secret? - she used to write notesin mustard on my sandwiches. she's probably writingnotes right now to the new childrenin our basement. - wow, that is a reallyweird thing to say.
- here, here. where have you been? - i've been followingalec all day. i'm 100% he's livingin cheat city. - courtney, how do you know? - exhibit a, flower receipt. exhibit b, i foundthis in his car. exhibit c, a blank cd. exhibit d, paint supplies.
exhibit e, teddy bear stuffing. - oh, what the? - is that a... - is that from... - oh my god, a pickof alec fixler? (screaming) - oh my god! - omg, who would send apicture from this angle? - it looks like thatfrom every angle!
- no, get it away! oh, i hate public school! - oh my god, oh my god! - the most indecent thingi've ever seen in my life is the neck of a turkey. - isn't the point of a picture is that you choose the best one? is this his best one? - why would alec bemy secret admirer?
- oh, andie. - andie, i'm so sorry. - you betrayed me! - are you serious? he's my brother, whatare you talking about? - courtney, what are you doing? (crying) - i know i've asked this before, but i'm gonna ask you again,
have you lost your friggin mind? seriously. - lookie here, maniac. you are taking thisout on the wrong one. you need to confront alec. - i will accompany you. i have a couple ofquestions of my own for my brother dearest. - okay, yeah, sorry.
i went a little crazybecause you're crazy! - no, courtney,courtney, oh my god. courtney, chill out! courtney, no! - i am a singing telegram! - [all] no! - all right! - invasion of privacy, andie!- what are you doing in here! - invasion of privacy?
are you kidding me? what about this pictureyou just sent me? - ow, courtney, myperfectly chiseled face! what the frick? - ooh, you've been hittinga lot of people today. i like mean courtney. - you've been cheating on me! sending lavish gifts andlove notes to another woman! - i'm gonna go ahead and ask you
to not refer to me as someonealec is cheating with. i'm his sister. - babe, look-- - stop. i know things haven'tbeen okay between us, but how could you do this to me? - uh... - after three years together. - um...
- i was your first love, alec. - oh, god, she'sgetting emotional again. do you see this? - yeah. - i wanna know. why did you do it? - i think we all wanna know. - hi, i'm also curious. - hey.
- this is crazy. alec, i can't be withsomeone who cheats on me. - you can't be withsomeone who cheats on you? - yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that's what i just said. - fine. i did it. yeah, i cheatedon you, courtney. - i'm sorry, what?
- you didn't thinki was gonna find out and have to break up with you? you thought i was likestupid or something? - i don't know. i guess i just wasn'tthinking about you. (laughter) - maybe you should startthinking about her, and not, you know, your sister. - i'm sorry, i'm just tryingto get caught up here.
uh, you sent a phototo your sister of... - jesus, man. - i mean, i guess you probably wanna break upwith me now, right? - i've said it once,and i'll say it again. we are so over! - yeah, i'm out too. i was gonna send asaucy snap to mr. zapp, but after all this,i'm just gonna go
douse my eyes with gasoline, so. - i forwarded thatpicture to my mom, and then she gaveme harvest queen, and then she said i cannever come over again. so... - wait, don't go. - i really have to tinkle. - go, go. - i can't believe youwere my secret admirer. - busted!
- this is legitthe meanest thing you've ever done to me. - no, no, no. i did this for you, young lady. okay, this way you canhave your little boyfriend with none of the danger. you can thank me later. you're welcome. - look, i know that i liketo pretend that we aren't,
but alec, we'reactually related. - yeah? - yes, get help. get it fast. - see, bro, courtneyended it, minimal tears. nice! - nice? that's your sister, man. you're related.
blood. (toilet flushing) (knocking) cleanup committee's here. mr. shaw wears size two shoes. know what that means? it means i'm the best tapdancer west of pasadena. (upbeat rock music)
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