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winter has come


i can’t die. what a torment... i can't die. sakip... what is it, father?feeling troubled again? i can’t die, sakip, i can’t. don’t. we want you to get better, beup and about. are you trying to die? find me selim, sakip.bring him to me at once. who is selim, father? do you hear me? selim.find him for me. i can’t die. i can't.

i can’t die, sakip. i can’t... uncle, listen. he quit runningthe coffeehouse 15 years ago. they gave me an address, but theydon’t know if he is still there. everything has changed here.there is no truck garage. there are cars going all directions.it is like a rally here. there is the camping father mentioned,but nothing else. now, i... do you hear me? if i cannot find the bloke right away,should i come back? what do you say?

who is it you looking for? -selamunaleykum.-aleykumselam. -is this mevlevihane cul-de-sac no4?-yes. whom are you looking for? a man called ali rä±za. he used to runa coffeehouse for truck drivers. a macedonian migrant.an old friend of my father. they gave me this address,but no one answers the door. do you know where he is?-he moved a long time ago. -a long time?-yes. why are you looking for him? i will find him and through himi will find someone else.

-i don’t know where he moved.-should i go back then? no. i don’t know where he lives,but i think he is now an imam. -what?-imam at a mosque. -imam?-yes. either as an imam or hodja. could it be another ali rä±za?mine is a smuggler. yes, smuggler. he repented.it is the same ali rä±za. -which mosque then?-i don’t know. too many mosques in istanbul. you’ll search the ones in suriã§i.how many could there be?

there are 166 mosques. no, no one said anything,i read it on the sign. not in whole istanbul, 166 mosquesonly in this neighborhood. god knows how many in istanbul! how could i have searched all of them?i am going from one to the other. my hands pruned because of ablution. not sure if i missed any.lost track of it. i did pray a lot.may god accept them all. no.

no, i’m going to sleep. i will sleep in the car. i’m too exhausted to go to a hotel. i will come back here to a smallmosque for the morning prayer anyway. should i return if i can’tfind him tomorrow, too? we don’t even know if he is stillalive. i have searched him a lot. what? what does father say? please tell me.uncle? hello?

selim...how can i find a selim in istanbul? as if everybody knows each other here.god help me. winter has come. how did i forget the window open? thugs! hey! let go!who stole my phone?! maybe they went this way? -here comes ali rä±za.-which one? the fat man? -no. next to him. in a jacket.-they all are in jackets!

-with the cap.-thanks. -may god accept your prayer.-thanks. -are you ali rä±za?-yes. -you are?-yes. who are you?-sakip from bitola. my father, suat sent me.-suat? which suat? -trucker suat.-trucker? he used to steer trucks.though he quit 20 years ago. you don’t remember him?-no.

well, you turned out to be an imaminstead of a coffeehouse keeper. this is all wrong.-i am not an imam. -that’s wrong also?-what is it that you want? i am looking for selim.father told me to bring selim. my father is dying; on deathbed.told me to bring selim. i said my uncle can do that.that he’ll know better. “no,” he said. “it is your duty. go find my friend ali rä±za,he’ll tell you where selim is.” his mother’s name is fatoåÿ.

-fatoåÿ you say? you mean suat!-sure. who else? -where do you know him from?-trucker suat is my father. -your father?-yes. suat from bitola. i know him.you mean long suat. -yes, he is a tall man.-no, not so tall. he was a long-distance driver.-yes, that’s it. he used to go to russia, moldovia.i was small then. where is selim? he became a ball player.he’s playing at... so suat is dying, huh?what a man he was.

he used to say nothing wouldhurt him. he died, huh? -no, he didn’t. he can’t die.-you said he did. -no. i said he can’t die.-you want him to die? god help me, heavens no! -i know you found the right path.-you may say that. i wouldn’t want to...i mean here by a mosque, but... -what’s that?-for you. father made it. -put that away.-it is for you. -don’t make me start now!-what should i do with it?

put that away. for me, huh?did suat make it? -yes, he did.-fine. still put it away. where is selim? look ahead! -run back!-shoot! ground the ball! well done. bravo! way to go.very nice, boy.

selim, come on now, come on. coming. come on guys. put on your helmet, boy.don’t ride bike without it. be careful. ride slow.be wise. atta boy. got a minute, bro? yes, bro. there is a selim around here.is that you? -why do you ask?-what's it to you? is it you or not?

who are you? sakip from bitola. the coach called out to you as selim.but i still wanted make sure. are you selim?-yes, i am. i found you. i will cut it short, man.i, sakip, came from bitola. father sent me to find and bring you.he wants your blessing before he dies. we are brothers.we have the same father. -what’re you saying?-that’s how it is.

-are you fucking with me?-sorry? -are you fucking with me?-not at all. isn’t your mother’s name fatoåÿ? isn’t it fatoåÿ?-don’t get her involved. bugger off. isn’t your father trucker suatfrom bitola, macedonia? he is my father, too.-i don’t have a father. go away! bro, where are you going?where is he going? bro! -man!-what?! god!

-who are you, man?-in god’s name! are you a thief? fuck you!who the hell are you? are you following me?-i did not, bro. the custodian of the footballfield told me the address. you left, i lost you.i went back, we had tea. then he told me.i came and waited for you here. -why the hell did you?-i am not crazy about it, too. i made 800 km to here and willmake the same back to home. i said, “let uncle fuat go.” he said,“no, he’s your brother, your duty.”

and see? i froze my ass off.-keep your voice down! i have back problems, bro.i have lumbago. i have been to all the mosques.ask me any mosque in istanbul. what the hell with mosques?i didn’t ask you to come. father is in his deathbed.for god’s sake, please come. you can return later.please, for the love of god. will you come?-look, bro. you seem like a nice man. you came and fulfilled your duty.and i gave you my answer. now, if i were you, i would get ona plane and go straight back.

i came by car. i don’t fly.planes are not god’s work. cars are safe and secure.-so you are afraid. i don’t know about that.be a man and drive straight back. this is kasä±mpaåÿa,you’ll get fucked here. -who fucks whom?-okay, alright. that’s all i’m gonna say.i warned you. it’s on you now. where are you going, bro?will you come with me? sure. i’ll just pack a bag andgrab some pastry for the road. bro...

how did i get myself into this?i told him, uncle should come. “no, you go, your duty, your brother.”what a brother! my back aches of this cold.hell with the duty and the brother! i drove 800 kilometers andhe sends me off to my car. i learned all the mosquesin istanbul. but no!he couldn’t care less. i told him to send uncle, but no.“you should go. it is your duty.” why? now i am broke.my back hurts. oh my! oh my father!

i couldn’t convince him. i say deathbed, he says no.what a man! -hey!-i am broke. my phone is gone, too. -how will i call home?-hey, stop talking! i don’t even know the nameof this place. bro! hey, bro! he is dying, man, dying. do not shout! quiet! -i am just talking to myself.-okay, i’m buzzing you in.

it’s not buzzing.not working. -quiet! now what?-it’s not working. fuck! maybe it is busted?i think it is busted. idiot! don’t you hear the buzz?push when you hear the buzz. -got it.-the hell you did! i think he is fucking with me. will you buzz me in or not?-fuck it! lights are out. it’s not working.-what?

lights are out.it’s not working. -what’s this noise at this hour?-buzzer busted. who are you? hush, come here! it’s alright, metin. lights are out.buzzer is off. he can’t get in. wait there, i’ll drop the keys. take these and come in. are you sleeping? are you sleeping, bro? don’t make me regretletting you in and sleep.

oh my head...-ache much your head? -oh my head...-ache it much? sleep. shut up and sleep. enough with the nagging. wonder if there areany “kompir”. hey! -it’s alright. i just bumped.-bumped? are you a thief? will you rob the house?-where could they be? go to bed.

-do you have “kompir”?-kompir? what did they call it? chips, chips!-chips? -tater.-tater? -potato.-potato? what will you do with potato?it’s fucking early. go to bed. -do you have any?-what will you do with it? i’d better do then tell.where are they? fuck you.

you fucked the house.-sorry. -what is it? what?!-here, drink this tater juice. it is good for hangover.-i won’t fucking drink tater juice. go away. i won’t.-just drink it. it cleans booze. are you trying to kill me?i’m not drinking tater juice. go away. leave me alone. let me sleep a couple hours.i’ll drink tater juice later. -bro?! what is it now?-may i use your phone?

what the fuck with the phoneat this hour? my phone is stolen. i cannot callhome. they must be worried. fuck your phone! here.go and talk over there. look, i have a championship gamein the morning. leave me be. no contact at all.do whatever the fuck you want. just let me sleep a couple hours.-okay, alright. my head is splitting. go now.you got the phone. why are you still here?go talk over there. -it needs password.-fucking password! three 3s.

four 3s.3-3-3-3. -bro...-fuck your bro! it needs password.i don’t know it. -here. here’s the fuckword.-thanks. -god help me...-drink this. it will clean you. god help me and rid me ofthis pestilence. don’t pray drunk.you’ll get us smitten by god. hello?hello? makbule? i did find him.put my father on.

hello? uncle fuat, i found him.put my father on. hello, mother.put my father on. father, is that you? i found him, father.i am at his house now. he is a mean guy, father.he says he has a championship game in the morning. don’t make me dealwith him. he doesn’t want to come. he’s not coming. father...

-leave me alone, man!-father... i told you a minute ago!just let me sleep a little! father wants to speak to you. -what will he speak with me?-he didn’t say. here, you ask him. -i can’t talk now.-what should i say? -tell him i am not here.-he heard you a minute ago. how should i say that?-well then... tell him i am sleeping.-yeah, that’s a good idea. father? he is sleeping.

wake him up? okay. he wants you. selim? i am your father. nice to meet you. nice to meet you, too.you don’t know me. you’ve never seen me.but i’ve known you for 35 years. wait a minute, man. how are you, mom?

no, nothing. everything’salright. i’m okay. wait, i’ll put someoneon the phone. what is it, selim?something wrong? no, nothing.just listen, mom. son, what is it?what’s going on? nothing. i am fine.just listen please. listen. who is it at this hour? hello?-hello? -yes? -hello?-who are you?

-who are you?-i can’t hear you. who are you? -hello?-alright, i hear you now. you’re asking me?who are you calling at this hour? god help me! who are you?uncle recep, is that you? he is suat and he’s very sick. -for god’s sake! who is suat?-you want my life story now? selim put you on the phone.didn’t tell me who you are. do not yell at her! i am selim’s mother fatoåÿ.who are you? which suat?

hello? god help me please.he will drive me crazy. -fatoåÿ?-yes? -i am suat. don’t you recognize me?-suat who? which suat? tell me. -sakip’s father.-i don’t know sakip. how should i know suat?who is sakip? selim’s brother. -selim?-yes, mom. -is this man at your home?-no. his house is in macedonia or something like that.i am at home.

-i am here, too.-who are you? sakip.my respects, ma’am. -fatoåÿ, where are you?-at the village. -my my...-what is this? what’s going on? stop asking questions andtalk to find out who he is. -talk about what?-how the hell should i know? just talk. fatoåÿ, i am dying. rest in peace.

are you sick?-yes. i am, too.my legs ache of rheumatism. i have lower back herniaand bronchitis. i can’t even walk.i don’t know what to do. -do you use medication?-of course i do. but doesn’t do me any good.it is the elder ages. it is bad. -yes, it is bad.-so, what do you want? look fatoåÿ, i am dying. and i want to...

your call is discontinued.you have no credits left. who is that gal?i hear a gal talking. selim... hello? it’s alright.there is no gal here. don’t you meddle with it?it’s up to me. what? alright, i’ll call you.don’t meddle with it! don’t make me shout.okay. will you come, bro? bite me! stop the act, youbastard! go act on stage! come on selim, last two minutes.

well done, boys.keep it up. aydä±n, wake up! guys, use ã‡aäÿatay,get the ball to him. -come on, be there! cover!-use 7, good shooter. if not, use midfield.-atta boy! pass the ball. to ã‡aäÿatay! ã‡aäÿatay carry on! shoot! shoot! don’t waste it!why don’t you pass it to 7?!

run back! run! bravo salih. there is no one in defense!run back! run! beware of the left back.they will score. go in! in! goal! enough with the years long waiting let the championship be ours this year friends, this glory, this championshipbelongs to us all.

this championship of yours iswell-deserved. i knew you would succeed and win. congratulations to us all!-thanks. -are you done?-sure. go ahead. i actually didn’t want to say this. but i had a couple drinks and thereis the happiness of championship. so, i want to get this off my chest.-sure. say whatever you like. -you didn’t come watch the game.-right. he’s right. don’t get me wrong. not to complain,just to get it off my chest.

today, these 20 brave men played agame and became the champion. and you didn’t even come watch. have some faith in these boys.have their back. how should i put it? you sold onurand ozan for a nickel and dime. you almost didn’t send them to greecejust because of 5 billion liras cost. and what? they got on the bus,went there and came back. look, he has a girl now, vasia.that was her name, right? he got a tattoo, too. see.i was going to have one, too. they told me to have one, too.though i just didn’t.

selim, i am here now. from now oni will always support you, boys. come to me for any needs or problems.if i am not there, go to selim. sure. -are your visas still valid?-sure, they all have visas. these boys rocked greece.see this boy? one hell of a guy. coach...-i am drinking selim. you’re not drinking with me. i said, “ouzo is not liketurkish raki, guys.” “what could it do to us?” they said.

then they all got screwed. you drink a couple doublesand walk on the moon. after the game... brother.we’ll talk. come on now.we’ll meet and talk. come on now, good night. i did bring two bottles of ouzo. why don’t we drink in the cup, man?from the cup? let’s drink from the cup.

why don’t we all sip rakifrom the cup, man? come here you jazzy.he is such a show-off. -don’t say so, man.-you almost missed the shot, prick. this guy is...one hell of a guy. i’d die forthe honey lips of my love ã–mer, help me carry him to the car.he drank too much last night, too. hold him. -what the...?-come on, let’s go. -have a beer, ã–mer?-sure.

let’s have a beerand then go home. grab a couple beersfrom there. -bless you, brother.-god bless us all. it’s too hot. what's going on? who the hell are you, prick?who the fuck are you? kidnapping?! how dare you?fucking bulgaria?! screw you! do not curse, bro. who the hell are you?i took you in my home.

you asked me if i’d comeand i said no, i cannot! bulgaria?! kidnapping?!screw you! you fuck head! do not curse.why do you curse? -fuck your whole family!-not my family! -fuck your car!-don’t hit the car! it is fragile. fuck your car!pray that i didn’t fuck you! i got you in my home, man!i should knock you down and leave on the street tobleed out like a fucking dog! -bro, please wait.-fucking asshole!

where are you going, bro?where... will walk to istanbul? will you walk 500 km? night is coming.no cars or buses pass by here. this is the balkans,you may get fucked here! go or i’ll bust your head open. hit me, kill me, do whatever you want.it’s all the same for me. i’ll say i got him, but he ran awaysomewhere in bulgaria. want to go back?you have to walk. i can’t take you back.i have to go home.

if you want to come; welcome.if you don’t; god speed. because my father is dying.got it? my father is dying. have you not kidnapped me? took me here forcibly, right?-brother... tell me if i am wrong.have you not kidnapped me? i did. yes. and not only to some other city,to another country. international. abroad, i mean.got it? and now you tell me that you cannottake me back and that i have to walk.

then you say that this is the balkansand i may get fucked. is that right? -no, not like that.-have i got it right? -yes, you did.-get out of the car. get out, i said!-what are you doing? let go! my arm is w...! -i’m sorry.-get out of the car. i am asking you nicely,but you’re not coming. and your first idea wasto kidnap me? you prick! what could i have done?he is dying!

-what a fuck head you are!-you’re just... you're nagging like teenage girls.are you coming or not? -are you still talking?! fuck off!-i will go! the nights are dark here.-fuck off! how will you go backwithout a passport? you don’t have it!-fuck off! fuck! i had cigarettes. fuck it! for fuck’s sake!on the road in bulgaria!

no phones! no mobile! i don’t evenhave money to buy cigarettes! why did you kidnap the cup, too?it wouldn’t worth a dime! it only has sentimental value!-i couldn’t put it away. you just wouldn’t let it go.-what do you mean? where did you kidnap me from?-from the tavern. -from among all those men?-you passed out. they all left. -where did you get my passport?-i went to your house. -went to my house?-yes. while you’re at it, why didn’tyou brew some tea, too?

how did you find it in the house? looked for it and found inthe second or third drawer. -so you screwed the house, too.-i left it as i found it. why the hell i am in bulgaria?! i can’t go on like this.let’s stop to have a bite. i am a nervous wreck.my blood pressure went up or my sugar level went down.-yes, we need to eat. i am hungry, too.-my stomach is burning. -how old are you?-how much do you need?

-what?-how much would suit you? 35.-35. you are two years younger than me.though you aged a lot. fucking... do you have a woman you love? what are you trying to do, man? start a conversation?a woman i love, huh? -just talking.-yeah, just. it is neither the time nor the place.

are you trying to amuse me?“i picked up the idiot from turkey. i’d better amuse him like childuntil we reach home.” is that it? -what else should i do?-don’t do anything. just ride. i am sweltering. isn’t therea water fountain or something? -yes, it is hot, really.-don’t you have cigarettes? -i don’t smoke.-i am hungover, hungry and parched. we have no cigarettes.-you’re right. -and i am in bulgaria, man.-you’re right, absolutely right. -this hot is killing me.-it is the weather. it’s hot.

take of your shirt if you’resweltering. be cool! i am about to burst! come on, bro. so you do have cigarettes. you said you don’t smoke. -here you go.-don’t mind if i do. god bless you.was it a joke before? no. you know when we stopped, whenyou pissed, a bulgarian passed by. i got two cigarettes from him.my first cigarette.

it’s betterif you don’t smoke at all. -i’ll just light one.-do so, bro. i am now better. i feel fine.-really? -really, man. and my head spins. what’s your name, bro?i never asked. called you bro. -sakip.-sakip... sakip domalan (on-all-fours). -what?-sakip. -your surname...-sakip domalan (on-all-fours).

it is heavy. why are laughing? why are you laughing, bro?-nothing. i just remembered something. sakip domalan (on-all-fours), huh?i am selim. nice to meet you. selim domalan (on-all-fours). selim domalan (on-all-fours)... yeah, bro. what is it?what happened? we’re screwed.

what is it? get out, man. close the window. -what is it?-close it up. get out so i can lock it. why are you locking up the car? tell me what happened!-we have a flat tire! take out the spare then. -there isn’t a spare.-what? came all that way without one?

-there just isn’t.-you weirdo! so we are left here! -tire place ahead for needing.-we need it here, not ahead! there isn’t one. it blew up before.there is a place ahead. got it? -ahead where?-10 or 5 kilometers ahead. 10 kilometers! that is a fuckingwalk in this hot weather! -aren’t you a ball player?-fuck the ball! we’d better reach beforenightfall. walk. -where did i go wrong?-what? i just wonder what my sin is,whom i wronged to deserve this.

my brain is boiling. what the fuck will you doif i die here of a sunstroke? -let’s go this way.-why? go for god’s sake. don’t you talk to me! why didn’t we come here by car? it wasn’t the engine, just a flat tire.we could have drove here. -no, i don’t...-like it is a mercedes. like the rim would be damaged.-i don’t want to talk to you. closed.he should be around here.

his house should be close.his shop is here. hi, man. do you knowwhere he lives? -up there?-don't know. i don't know him. up there?come on then. come, come. come on. watch out for the dog. -where in god’s name are we going?-his house is this way. slow down. there are dogs.

there are dogs everywhere! come this way. -there is a dog there.-there are on both sides. -man!-run! okay, alright.stop barking. alright. brother! -what do you want?-hi, man. -hi.-we need a tire. -i closed up shop.-closed?

-what does he say?-he closed up. so what? tell him that we have aflat tire and we are in a hurry. come on tell him.-that’s what i’m telling. if i knew the language,i would. but i don’t! -are you turk?-yes, we are. -do you know turkish, man?-yes. -thank god! we are stranded with a flat tire.come, fix it so we can go on our way. we have a long way ahead.we have a sick in the family. -but i closed up for today.-okay, but it’ll take a minute.

then we’ll take you back here.-we have a wedding. alright, you do! but shouldwe be stranded on the road? just come and fix it quick.then we’ll take you back here. when will you be backfrom the wedding? -whenever it ends.-will we wait till the morning? -you can wait or come with me.-to the wedding? when will it be over?-it just started. man, this is gonna take long.let’s go for 10 minutes. then you go on with the wedding.-don’t spoil my fun.

okay, man. we won’t spoil your fun.give us the keys and an errand boy. we’ll go get everything and do it.we are stuck here. for god’s sake! do not make us wait here!-what is he saying? -give us the keys and we’ll do it.-what's not to get? i am telling the same thing!-fuck me if you need to, but please. -why do you get fucked?-i don’t know what i’m saying! dear guests,welcome to the wedding of makve and feride fumlet's hear it for them! today, we are gathered hereto celebrate love.

a most peaceful,a most beatiful love. we all wish for thiswonderful garden of love the most delicious fruit of allhappy and peaceful children! let's hear it for them! from the uncle and aunt of the bride: a "beko" washing machine!let's hear it! from the aunt of the brideand the uncle of the groom: 10 pairs of shoes!let's hear it! from the aunt of the bride:38 meters of lace!

from the uncle of the bride:2 car tires! let's hear it! music! why did you mess with my life?why did you, man?! we won the championship yesterday! why the hell i am in bulgaria?wearing an undershirt! why the hell i amat a gypsy wedding?! whom are you whispering to? -“pwaying”.-“pwaying”? pwaying to god.don’t you know what it is?

-are you scared?-you are not? -of what?-demons, ghosts... god forbid. who’d be in this godforsaken place? -why not?-demons roam near water. -there is water, a creek that way.-where? -over there. fuck!now he got me thinking about it. -is the car pulling to the right?-a little, i guess. would you like it not to? we can’t go on like this. let’s mountthe one in the back on the front.

-no. then i can’t see the road.-then let’s mount both on the back. i thought about it all.you just enjoy yourself. my back is killing me. -do you know steering?-steering? yes. steering a car.driving a car. of course i do, buti wouldn’t drive this one. -why?-what is there to drive? it might fall into pieces.-how do i steer then? you do. you are a “steer”.you are used to steering.

i don’t know how to drive this car.-what do you have then? a mercedes? now that is a different story.i can drive a mercedes without oil. what’s the year of this car?-same as your age. my age. that is the legendaryyear for mercedes. i am not crazy about my car either.my back hurts. i want to take a nap. that’s why i want you to steer.-i can’t. i am not a steer. -what?-i won’t drive! thank you, bro.fasten your seatbelt. what seatbelt?we are going at 30 km/hour.

not for you.you will be humping on me in a minute. fuck the seatbelt, fuck the car...what have i done to deserve this? why the hell i am here?what the heck i am doing? you’re doing a very good deed.now release the parking brake. why on earth pull the parking brakeon a straight road? just release it. god bless you, bro. you probably don’t see...there. lights. see, electricity... the lights over there are villages.

these bulgarians make verygood cheese, kashkaval. they do stock farming.all the villages around here. have you eaten kashkaval?don’t know if it has a turkish name. they sell it by the road asmedium, large and larger cylinders. they sell it by the road?have you ever seen those? -what the heck are you talking about?-i don’t know if you have it... man! what happened? sakip!

what happened, man?-i fell down. -how?-the door opened. my hand slipped,i couldn’t hang on to it. thank god we were going at 30 kmor i’d be dashed into the field. i fell on my ass. -are you okay?-my back hurts. -are you in pain?-yes. -get up and i’ll take you to the car.-no, i can’t get up. -get up, i’ll take you, bro.-don’t you move me! i have hernia.

-what’s it gonna be now?-they want to operate on it. pull the car aside andturn the flashers on. -forget about the flashers now.-god forbid some vehicle comes. turn them on.-no one will come. you said so. you never know. turn them on. oh my... oh mommy... are you alright? are you okay?-a little better. -what is it? why did we stop?-left or right?

-what?-left or right? left or right?where have you taken us? where have you taken us?where are we? how the hell should i know?would i ask you if i had known? you fucking brought usto romania! -what?-romania! -romania? it says alexandria and bucharest.you brought us to romania! how the hell should i know?look at it! i just can’t...! for all i know it might besaying beylikdã¼zã¼!

-move aside!-fuck off! -move to the other seat!-you fucking imbecile! -move to the other seat!-don’t you drive me mad! don’t! you maniac! i’m notthe reason we are in romania! -talk in turkish! what are you saying?-i’d rather not say. it is too harsh. -maniac. are you crazy? is it me...-i just took a nap for my backache and you made a 300 km detour!-i did?! why the hell i am in romania?! what just happened to us?why did you bring me to romania? -sorry for your loss.-thank you.

condolences. sorry for your loss, bro. come on in. sorry for your loss. osman. my condolences. -sorry for your loss.-thank you. bless your heart. god bless you.-you too. we won't leave you alone.it's hard i know.

-makbule, make some coffee, girl.-please don’t bother. come on let's be going now.you must be tired. and you also have a guest now.-okay then… tomorrow we will come again. god bless you. amen. come on now. god bless you.god bless your children. whose is this phone?

my phone is ringing. uncle? thank you. bless your heart. god’s will, man. he had so much pain.his suffering ended. you know, he didn’thave a liver! yes. today. towards morning. we didn’t want to wait. we had theceremony during the noon prayer.

no. you’re to come from abroad.you couldn’t have made it anyway. -it’s all because of you!-bless your heart, man. what’s going on here?-i couldn’t bury my father! i’ll kill you! you bastard!it's all because of you! come on now, out!you fool! what just happened, boy? get up. have a seat. shut up! have some respect.

it’s neither the time nor the place! -i begged him, uncle.-shut up! i begged him to come.what a brother! damn him! fuck you, idiot! sit here!you embarrassed us. stay still! get up!don’t go in. sit here. you embarrassed us. you embarrassed us to allthe neighbors, you fool! sit! you had to do this today!shame on you! this is disrespectful toyour father and your mother!

you fool! -but uncle...-shut up! you don’t talk while i do!you keep quiet, pay respect! fool! forgive him. he just lost it.he doesn’t know what he’s doing. he is a good boy really.he has a very good heart. but he is very upset for notbeing able to see his father. -do you have cigarettes?-cigarette? when did you start smoking?-give me one. here.

lighter? is it lit?-yes, it did. you don’t even know how to smoke andyou try to pick up a fight, you fool. i’m tearing inside. but today isnot the time. you’ll see later. -why didn’t you wait for me?-i called you. your phone was off. -it was stolen.-man! who stole it? why didn’t you wait for me?why did you bury him so fast? -hodja said we should.-which hodja? hodja yakup. he said the body isalready swollen, filled with water.

that it’ll be like a balloon by morning.so we had the burial in a hurry. what could’ve we done?-hodja yakup? -yes. you know, yakup. he said he’ll be like a balloon.-swollen, huh? -yes, very much. it's already started, he said,he’ll be a balloon by the morning. easy. calm down. keep calm now. he died peacefully.don’t you worry. don’t worry.come here.

we could’ve gotten you herelong before, but... we didn’t know about it, boy. he told about you only afterhe was in his deathbed. he just prayed andprayed for you. -what happened to the car?-what do you mean? what do i mean?the car is tilted to one side. -i had flat tires in bulgaria.-flat tires? the car is tilted. i busted my balls for those. they’re alright.i drove here with those.

how so? the car is tilted. good heavens! i’d better go andget the car fixed. it will take long. you go in and be with your mother.people are coming to visit. they’d better not seethe car like this, too. give me the keys.-on the car. -you leave them on?-who’d take this car, man? -sakip.-step on this and put it off.

do you have money?-yes. -alright. sakip. -yes, mother.-come here a minute. did you take this boyagainst his will? how could you do that?he has a life. his mother should be worried.did you call his mother? did you call your mother?she should be worried. she wouldn’t. it’s alright. -why did you do this, son?-is it my fault now, mother?

father told me to bring him.don’t you know father? i sure do. sakip... i am sorry, brother. he wasn’t at fault. he just wanted thetwo brothers to meet and get close. -i am going out for a minute.-where to? -to get some fresh air.-go together. take your brother, too.we'll figure out the rest later. no need.

sakip? sakip, son. where do the buses toistanbul take off? bus station. the terminal. -is it nearby?-yes. at the center. -how much time walking?-10 to 15 minutes. good. excuse me.-sure. i’ll take you. -where?-to the terminal.

-do not bother. i can go myself.-not at all. you are a guest. -do you have cigarettes?-no. i don’t smoke. brother sakip would bust my head open.-somebody should bust his head open! bus to istanbul is at 7 pm. seven? i have 2 hours. fine. alright. thank you very much.

i’ll wait here. thanks a lot. i’ll wait, too.you are a guest. -you go, i’m good.-no. you are our guest. -let’s have a drink then.-okay. -are you sakip’s sister?-no. i mean... it’s a bit complicated. i am the granddaughter ofgrandpa suat’s cousin. but grandpa suat raised me.our houses are close by. so we are relatives?

sort of. are you older than brother sakip? no, but i aged earlier. we are two years apart. sure. it is not easy withbrother sakip. -how old are you?-26. -26? you too, have aged quite a deal. it is not easy... how do you manage to hit the balldrinking so much?

-my team won the championship this year.-really? of course i cannot run as before,but i have good technique. coach sent me in in the last 5 minutes.i made a long pass, we scored. and became the champion.-we didn’t hear it at all. -what?-the championship. last year when galatasaray won thechampionship people went crazy here. it’s not like that.my team is not in the super league. major league? minor?

go lower. what's left to go lower? -thanks a lot.-for what? for coming here. no, thank you.you have come here all that way. grandpa suat said your name a lotin his sleep. i was curious about you. -you didn’t expect this i reckon.-i wasn’t expecting anything. i was just curious about who you are.

-let’s go, i don’t want to miss the bus.-it will come right here. still... let’s get the check. i don’t... i don’t have any money.i left it all in sakip’s car. it’s alright. everyone knows each otherhere. sakip will take care of it later. and i will pay for the bus ticket. it’s alright. come on.-i am so ashamed. i will talk to the waiter.it’s alright. you are our guest. -i am sorry.-please, you are our guest.

you go. come on, go.don’t wait here. he asks for passport.i don’t have it. -you don’t have that, too?-i do, but that hoodoo has it. -which hoodoo?-sakip! stop, stop! call him!-i am calling. telephone, calling...please stop. -it is off.-his phone was stolen. -when?-in istanbul.

call someone else.tell them, i will miss the bus! -so you’re leaving.-yes, i am. take care.i’d better not miss the bus. there is another bus at night.you may go on that, too. or i can take you backas i have taken you here. thanks, but i’d better go now.i am already set to go. -you couldn’t see even once.-what? -your father.-your father...? i’d better go.

i haven’t seen my father or visitedhis grave since i came back. i can’t make my feet go there. we’ve come all that way together.might as well pray together for him. let’s get this over with. that is not my issue, bro.i never had such an issue. you go and fulfill your duty.don’t get me involved in it. you are not a good person. the man has died.he is finished. he is to deal withthe heavens now.

alright, i understand you.do not give him your blessing. do not forgive him, okay.you are right not to. may god forgive him.he is done with the living. but the issue here is not that. look, i do understand you.now you understand me, too. i am a bastard. 25 years ago that did hurt,but now i am 35. no one asks about my father. your father does not get to bemy father, just because

he knocked my mother up35 years ago. got it? a mistake was made. and my mother paid its price. so did i. if i go there and pray for him,i will ask for an explanation. and none of you can give it.got it? -that’s not the issue, man.-what then? -you know what it is? i have learned that i havea brother after 35 years. that’s what it is.

though if you say there isnothing there, so be it. your stuff is with uncle fuat.let’s go get them. then i’ll show you off. the rest is your issue. fill it up. pour it. serve. you did. that’s more like it. i am your uncle.

my name is fuat. and the man there is suat,my older brother. this was his place. rauf agha’s joint.my place, too. if you want, it will be yours, too. our place. rauf agha’s joint. our place. your stuff is here. you won the championship.we are proud of you.

you also have a turkish passport.so we are even more proud of you. did you know? my brother died today. my brother suat died. i did not have a father.suat raised me. i never knew my father.i know no one else. this is our place. suat’s, yoursand his uncle’s fool sakip’s. i talked too much. rauf agha, give me suat’s bequests.

give them. i drank too much. let me get this.i got it. suat’s bequest. do not waste it. where to, uncle? forgive me. when i heard from uncle fuat that my father passed away whilewe were having fun on the road i just lost it.i’m sorry.

you are a disturbed man, bro. you are confused. i am the same shit as you. i beat people all my life. mother took me to a doctor because ofmy temper. i beat the doctor up. i punched walls. i used to eat glass, man. my mouth, tongue...all got torn apart. we didn’t have any money.i spent five years without teeth.

that’s why i couldn’t becomea good ball player. i even beat a fan up. stopped the gameand chased him away from the stands. i served 22 months of military service.4 of them were in the “disco”. -disco?-disciplinary ward. the cells they put you in alone...punishment... got it. is father the one in the middle? father... fuat is in the middle,rauf is the one on the left. and on the right is grandpa, selim.-selim? selim...

-those are russian.-no, not russian, german. i served in military, too.-they are russian. i know. ak47. croatians had 0.15 caliber ones.german made. these are russian. back then croatians had those. they were close with germans.so were delivered those 0.15’s. we had those, too.but these are russian. weighs 3.5 kilograms. when you get caught in the rainit feels 35 kilograms.

you’d have to bust your assto carry it then. we were in the trenches in sarajevo.you call is saraybosna. and in the trenches there weremacedonians, turks, albanians, bosnians.they all were soldiers. all have been drafted.without having a choice. you either deserted or weretaken for service forcibly. where to desert anyway? you didn’t even knowwhom you are shooting at. you couldn’t tellwho was fucking who.

there was a boy next to me.younger than me. 17 at the most.17 years at the most. something happened.i heard a sound. i turned around to seehalf of him gone. i took his weapon. and that’s howi know; these are russian. in the middle of europe.in the trenches in sarajevo. i know its weight, man, i know.3.5 kilograms. so don’t you tell me about it. these are russian, man.ak47.

come here. come on, get up. -my father died.-what? my father died.and i can’t get up. my father died. suat agha!come, come this way. suat agha! come. suat agha!come this way.

we are here. suat agha! here i brought him.i brought you your son. now we will tell you something.come on, tell your father something. -what should i tell him?-how should i know? -hello.-what? -hello.-hello father. your son is here.he is bit of a mean man. he takes after you more than i do. but he does get lost on the road.we almost went to foreign countries.

come on brother.it is my father lying here. see, he doesn’t get up.he is not moving. give him your blessing.come on, brother. -i give my blessing.-i give my blessing. i give my blessing to you father.oh my father... i give my blessing. wake up. -we are at the wrong grave.-what? we are at the wrong grave.

-how so?-did father die at 19? -no, at 65.-get up. this is the wrong grave. get up. this is disrespectful.-name doesn’t match, too. where have we come?-i don’t know. uncle fuat said it was this way. i’ll ask him.how is this opened... do you hear it? there is musiccoming from somewhere. do you hear it?-i do, but...

no, this way. where are you going? here he is. good heavens.he slept here. uncle. -what is it? who are you?-don’t be scared. it is us. -sit up. want help?-no, i am okay. what time is it?-i don’t know. -who’s there at home?-how should i know? we slept here.

if you slept here, then arethe dames alone at home? -you slept here, too.-be a man, you fool. don’t be like me.let me be at the cemeteries. how are you? are you alright?do you have cigarettes? no, i don’t.there is here though. give me one. you take one, too.smoke. a manly man smokes. -bro?-i quit. -you woke up now?-what?

-you woke up now?-my stomach burns. -you think ä°lyas has opened up?-the pastry shop? -yes. let’s go to ä°lyas or manko.-ä°lyas’ pastries are too greasy. uncle fuat, there arebulgarian villages here. they make good kashkaval.they come in medium and big sizes. “cow” are you? -one of us.-he learned it. -come on, get up.-come on. you don’t see now, but thereis very nice kashkaval.

god will smite us.stop it, we are in a cemetery. -easy. don’t step on graves.-come on, this way. don’t drink any more.drink with your mouth. i will never drink again. where the hell are you? yo, uncle... don’t laugh.someone will see us. -yo, uncle...-we are so disgraced. there is that kashkaval at thosebulgarian villages.

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