wil wheaton: in 1983, i playedmy first role playing game and my life was fundamentallychanged. for the rest of my childhood andthrough all of my teens, i built entire worlds and toldepic stories using nothing but my imagination and someweird looking dice. in my 20s, i got marriedand i raised a family. life was good, but my newfoundresponsibilities didn't leave a whole lot of timefor gaming. well, today on "tabletop," iam going back to my roots.
i've asked my friends chrishardwick, sam witwer, kevin sussman, and award-winning gamedesigner chris pramas to come over and play a roleplaying game just like the ones we played whenwe were kids. roll for initiative-- we're playing "dragon age." [music playing] wil wheaton: this is an exampleof a classic pen and paper role playing game thatlets players explore the world
of thedas from bioware'saward-winning "dragon age origins" and "dragon age ii."there are three things you need to know. one, we are grey wardens inthe land of ferelden. second thing you need to knowis that whenever we have to resolve a conflict, wewill roll three dice. if we roll doubles on thesedice, we will get to do something called a stunt. just how cool that stunt is isdetermined by the dragon die.
the last thing you need toknow, i love this game. it is awesome. everything we need to know aboutour characters is on two pieces of paper. we're doing this old school-- no minis, no maps. everything happens inour imagination. get ready for "dragon age." kevin sussman: my nameis kevin sussman.
i sometimes am on that show"the big bang theory." chris hardwick: my nameis chris hardwick. i run a thing called, "nerdist."i host shows and i do stand-up comedy. sam witwer: i'm sam witwerand i'm an actor. i am starring in a showcalled "being human." chris pramas: my nameis chris pramas. i'm a game designer, writer,and publisher. and i designed the "dragon age"tabletop role playing
game which we'replaying today. wil wheaton: i think that itwould probably be useful for you watching at home to knowa little bit about our characters so you canimmediately choose your favorite and who you'regoing to cheer for. so i'll go ahead and start. my name is gorik dunharg and iam a service dwarf warrior. and though i say outloud, [bleep] those guys that live in a holein the ground, it's terrible,
i really just want to go home. and then i tug my beard. chris hardwick: he's thesweetest little service dwarf. look at this littleservice dwarf. wil wheaton: and who are you? chris hardwick: my character'sname is fonzor. he's the dragon ageversion of fonzie. he's a human circle mage. and his robe is actuallya black leather robe.
and he casts a lot of spells byhitting things, much in the way fonzie did in milwaukeein the 1960s. chris pramas: i think everygroup has a player like chris, who is going to pretty muchthrow a little monkey wrench into your plans by decidingto, say, put fonzie into "dragon age." chris hardwick: oh, alsohe has [bleep] everyone in ferelden. everyone.
chris pramas: so you've reallyembraced the dark fantasy of dragon age. chris hardwick: i wantto put the fantasy back in dark fantasy. so fonzor, that'smy character. wil wheaton: cool. kevin, who are you? kevin sussman: i'm a city elf. my name is thinli.
i had an arranged wedding toanother elvish person. a woman. but that's kind of immaterial. we were going home afterthe ceremony. this person was rushing in ahorse-driven cart and ran over my brand-new bride. and i was so enraged at this--and i'm really not that kind of an elf-- but i was so enraged that mybride was struck that i
grabbed the wooden wheelof the thing, and it crashed my hand. and so i have reallya bad hand. chris pramas: youseek justice? kevin sussman: no,not justice. i seek vengeance. chris pramas: vengeance. all right. wil wheaton: sam, tell usabout your character.
sam witwer: keegan isa human warrior. he's 6 foot 3. he's basically the highschool football player of grey warden initiates. in fact, his long black hair,when he was taking ax class, it kept getting in his face,so he's cut it short except for the back. wil wheaton: wait. does he have a mullet?
sam witwer: well, hedoesn't know that. but he has a mullet. chris hardwick: it isa practical haircut. sam witwer: look, it'sa practical haircut. chris pramas: that's braveof you to admit. sam witwer: he's alsoslightly racist. chris hardwick: is hefrom the ferelden equivalent of alabama? as you've describedhim so far.
sam witwer: yeah, basically. wil wheaton: he's fromthe southern hills. sam witwer: that's right. wil wheaton: very far south. chris pramas: i love that beforei even presented the plot of the game that these guyswere just off with their characters. chris hardwick: can ichange one thing? wil wheaton: yeah, sure.
chris hardwick: i feel likefonzor has not [bleep] everyone. because we never sawfonzie [bleep] anyone. wil wheaton: that wascertainly implied. sam witwer: hold onfor a second. yeah, he had his armaround two women. chris hardwick: he made outwith a lot of people. so i think that's what it is.
i think his one weak spot isthat during a melee he might run off to try to make outwith someone because he can't help it. sam witwer: whereas keeganabsolutely has slept with anyone he could gethis hands on. kevin sussman: thinliremains a virgin. chris hardwick: what?! sam witwer: we haveto consummate. chris hardwick: we have toget thinli laid in this.
that's part of the-- i wish i could just casta spell and be like, no more virginity. i don't have that's spell yet. i'm only a low-levelmage at this point. some day. so this is the '80s roadtrip campaign. we're going to get him laid. you're trying to make upfor the football thing.
sam witwer: right. chris hardwick: i'm just tryingto make out with chicks and cast some spells. wil wheaton: and i justwant to go home. tug the beard. sam witwer: ok. so we're all trying to begrey wardens, right? are we training somewhere? chris pramas: so you have allbeen recruited by duncan, who
is the leader of thegrey wardens. in ferelden. if you survive, then you gothrough something called the joining, and that's what makesyou into a real grey warden. but right now-- sam witwer: that happen in aroom with duncan, and no one talks about it. chris hardwick: hey, youwant to do the joining? wil wheaton: speakingof dark fantasies--
chris pramas: duncan wants youto know that this blight is his last mission beforehe retires. chris hardwick: oh, it's hislast job before retirement. chris pramas: i'm sure thathe's going to survive that just fine though. chris hardwick: he's tooold for this [bleep]. chris pramas: yeah, he is. chris hardwick: is there a mrs.duncan at home that's waiting for a pension?
chris pramas: there is not. so you guys are makingbreakfast. duncan looks a littleconcerned. and he says, "i receiveda message in the night. and our plans must changea little bit." sam witwer: by what mannerdid you receive this message, duncan? wil wheaton: was it a raven? chris pramas: if you gain moreexperience in the grey
wardens, you may discover-- chris hardwick: magic text. cell phone? kevin sussman: can ido a smell check? chris pramas: a smell check? sam witwer: i don't think you'regoing to be able to smell much over the dwarf. kevin sussman: well, that wayi could smell if there was a horse, a messenger on horse.
chris pramas: oh, i see. yes, if you'd like to. kevin sussman: initiallyi had a sense of sight. but i was reading the manual,and i noticed that one of the special abilities that youcan have is smelling. chris pramas: all right,so that's a perception smelling test. it normally is a focus that'sreserved for animals or creatures or things like that.
kevin sussman: at first i waslike, smelling, who would ever choose smelling? and then i was thinking, well,actually smelling. smelling. what am i doing? chris hardwick: that'dbe plus four. chris pramas: that'd be twofor your perception. you get another two because youhave the smelling focus. kevin sussman: can't we justask, duncan, why do i have to
do this smell check? wil wheaton: that'sa good question. you received a messagein the night? chris pramas: i did receivea message in the night. as a grey warden, we havemany abilities. let us leave it at that. the important thing is that imust return to the tower of the circle of magi. but our task that was takingus in the other direction
still needs to be completed. so i'm tasking you fourwith taking that on. wil wheaton: challengeaccepted. chris pramas: all right. good. chris hardwick: (a lafonzie) he-e-ey-- wil wheaton: all right, so gorikgathers his stuff and he begins to walk in the direction that we were all headed.
is anybody following him? chris pramas: gorik, would youlike to know the mission? wil wheaton: yes. yes, tell me themission please. what's the mission? chris pramas: so i needyou to go to a village called green thorn. wil wheaton: green thorn. chris pramas: yes, it's betweenthe imperial highway
in orzammar, basicallyin the foothills of the frostback mountains. you are to go to green thorn,go to an inn called the queen's boot. wil wheaton: queen's boot. chris pramas: and you are tomeet a man named aldric lepoint and his party. lepoint is a leader of thegrey wardens of orlais. so you need to escort him to thelake calenhad docks, which
is right here. wil wheaton: oh, right. lake calenhad docks,right up here. chris pramas: yes. i will meet you there and thenwe will travel on to denerim, where aldric and i will meetwith the king to discuss the possibility of a blightto the south. sam witwer: whoa, whoa,whoa, a possibility. you're saying there's a blightgoing on to the south?
chris pramas: well,we don't know. there have been reports aboutdark spawn activity that could indicate a blight. but we are not certain. sam witwer: and we haveno one to the south? chris pramas: not right now. sam witwer: so is thisaldric guy a human? chris pramas: he is human. sam witwer: ok, good.
wil wheaton: i knowsam really well. he's very kind. he's very soft spoken. i'm a little surprised at howeasy it's been for him to slip into this guy who'skind of a [bleep]. chris pramas: there are veryfew full grey wardens in ferelden right now. ok. so you guys set off.
duncan says, "i should beat the docks starting four days from now. i will wait until you arrive." wil wheaton: great. four days, see you then. chris hardwick: i'm hoping thatwe will get to root out whatever this blight is beforeit destroys the entire realm. so that fonzor can justhit it and be like, he-e-e-ey, no blight.
chris pramas: you travelfor two days. you go down the imperialhighway for some amount of time. and then on the secondday, you sort of turn into the foothills. wil wheaton: ok. so we're near the base ofthe frostback mountains. so you're moving througha little valley. it's getting towardsthe end of the day.
the sun is setting. and you guys are lookingfor somewhere to camp. you can see a bunch ofboulders and things. and up from behind a boulderpops up this big guy, beard, battle axe, mail armor. he is obviously an avar. they are a barbarian tribekind of related to the fereldens, but they maintain alot more of the barbarian part of their heritage.
and so he stands up and putshis axe over his head and says, "i am forstall arnithigohfrosthold and you are on my road!" wil wheaton: so then i call outto him with a mighty grunt and a shaking of my dwarvenbeard that's sort of like the christie brinkley commercial,but not like-- chris hardwick: withher giant beard. wil wheaton: and it's rainingon me for some reason. and i call out tohim, "be that an
avarian hillsman i spy? hail, brother! come to the road so thatwe may look upon you." chris hardwick: oh, boy. sam witwer: oh, jeez. chris hardwick: we'regoing to get [bleep] killed. chris pramas: i am notyour brother, dwarf. you are on my road.
you must pay for the privilegeof passing. sam witwer: i want to use mytracking ability to just start taking a look around to see ifthere's any evidence of others hiding besides this guy. chris pramas: yeah. sam witwer: i'm usually theguy running the game. playing as a player isa new thing to me. it's fun. it's nice to be along for theride rather than having to run
everything. chris pramas: you can seethere's been some activity in this area. there are what looks like sometracks going up and down. sam witwer: up and down,like up the hill? chris pramas: mm-hmm. kevin sussman: we needto do a smell check. sam witwer: do it! kevin sussman: smelling--
because you don't have to belooking in a particular direction, something ispoisoned, or if there are tracks but you don't knowwhat kind of animal. chris pramas: you smell like amix of sweat and stale ale and that sort of thing, which you'dexpect of the avars. you're getting a hint ofsomething else that you have never smelled before. he says, "look, there are 12bows pointed at you right now. so why don't you unload yourmoney, drop your weapons, be
on your way. no one needs to getkilled today." chris hardwick: i don'teven have anything to give this guy. sam witwer: have the courage,sir, to show us your bows if you're going to threatenus with them. and i start screaming that. huh? anyone?
any takers? chris pramas: ok. make another round of perceptionshakes please. that's better. wil wheaton: 11 for me. kevin sussman: 18. chris hardwick: 12. wil wheaton: wow,way to go elf. chris pramas: you hear kind ofa, "ughf" sort of noise coming
from up the slope. kevin sussman: guys, i hearda something like an, "ughf" from coming up. chris hardwick: i don't thinkthere's 12 people with bows. sam witwer: i think you'reexaggerating. chris pramas: so you're daringthem to come out. sam witwer: yeah. chris hardwick: our oaf willfight your best fighter. sam witwer: hey, hey.
that's fine. i'll take it. wil wheaton: who willrun barter town? sam witwer: meet max. chris pramas: i like how the oafpart just like went right over your-- sam witwer: well, themullet is covering his ears right now. chris pramas: so he looks sortof meaningfully to one side of
the valley and to the other sideof the valley and says, "show them the avar way,boys." and then waits. and then nothing happens. and he is like, "come on boys. this isn't funny." and he startsstocking towards one of the other rocks. and then you see this dark formleap into the air and tackle him. and you see a glintingas something is
driven into his face. wil wheaton: thank you! chris hardwick: we'lljust be on our way. chris pramas: why don't youroll initiative for me? wil wheaton: oh boy! chris pramas: will, youare at the top of the initiative order. now that we are in combat,there's rounds of activity. when you have a turn, you getto make either one minor
action and one major actionor two minor actions. wil wheaton: i think i'mjust going to ready. wil wheaton: i have my mace. i have my mace out. and clearly a fightsgoing to happen. listen, i did not justcrawl out of orzammar yesterday, you guys. i crawled out of orzammar,like, 175 years ago. chris hardwick: i wish you wouldfight instead of giving
us your backstory. chris pramas: so keegan. sam witwer: i'm going to giveother scan to the hills around and make sure there aren'tanymore of these things. make a perceptioncheck please. sam witwer: nine. chris pramas: ok, youdo not see anything. is that all you want to do? sam witwer: that's alli can do, i think.
fonzor. sam witwer: he-e-e-ey. chris hardwick: because i havereally just a leather robe on, can i cast rock armor justto protect myself? chris pramas: rock armor is aprimal spell, so you get to add your focus for that. chris hardwick: ok, great. oh, [bleep]. chris pramas: is the skulla one or a six?
wil wheaton: theskull is a one. chris hardwick: ok,so that's a seven. chris pramas: ok, so you addyour magic, and then you add your focus. chris hardwick: ok. so my magic is four, so that's11, plus my arcane focus, which is another one? chris pramas: two. chris hardwick: two.
so 14. no, right? 13. chris pramas: ok, so lookunder rock armor. what is the targetnumber listed? chris hardwick: 10. chris pramas: 10. so you aced it. chris hardwick: great.
chris pramas: so youshould mark off-- [guitar riff] chris hardwick: rock armor! sam witwer: my mulletblows in the wind. wil wheaton: yeah, like,what was that? that was amazing. chris pramas: yeah, your mulletcan feel the power. sam witwer: yeah, exactly. and he can smell it.
chris pramas: so out from behindthat rock, this dark shape leaps over it and startsloping towards you. it's a monstrous creature. it's got blades strappedto either hand. and it is running towards you. so you guys have had some greywarden training, so you realize this is a shriek, whichis a type of dark spawn. chris hardwick: oh man,shriek are tough. chris pramas: they are stealthand infiltration specialists.
so who is in the front of yourlittle band, is that you? wil wheaton: i think it's me. and i was readying. i was anticipating somethinglike this. i was readying to bash my maceinto the face of whatever it is that is coming. chris pramas: because you havea prepared action, you can preemptively-- wil wheaton: yeah.
so i'm going to go ahead andwhack it with my mace. and i have a plus 5to my attack roll. and let's see whathappens here. i scream out, "for orzammar. [bleep] so i roll a seven,i roll a 12. chris pramas: a 12is a miss, sir. wil wheaton: awesome. if you see the way that i rolla dice, you will understand
that the only way i can have funin a role playing game is to focus on story insteadof rolling ones. so i guess he was just movingtoo fast for me. well, hey, this is your firstencounter with a shriek. wil wheaton: shrieksare scary. i've heard about them. chris pramas: they are. yeah. he is going to attackyou with his blades.
chris pramas: all righty. so-- oh, hey. he gets a stunt. woo-hoo! wil wheaton: i don't like thesound of that at all. chris pramas: you get a numberof stunt points equal to the dragon die. in this case i rolled a three.
so that means a shriekgets three stunt points to pull off stunts. and he uses them right away. this is not somethingthat you save. so i look at our little likechinese menu of stunts, and i decide for three points-- wil wheaton: hugs? chris pramas: he's going to doa skirmish stunt which will knock you back two yards.
and then he's also goingto knock you prone. wil wheaton: ugh, i'malready a dwarf. that's so rude. that is so rude. chris hardwick: you don'thave far to fall. wil wheaton: that'sactually true. you're absolutely right. yeah, you know what? i take it back.
go ahead. knock me prone. chris pramas: so he leaps in theair and basically punches you with his bladed weapon andsends you sprawling backwards. how much does he hit me for? chris pramas: well, i'mgoing to tell you now. oh, 10. wil wheaton: oh,it's all right. no, my beard absorbs five.
so he actually onlyhits me for five. that takes my healthdown to 47. chris pramas: so you guys arekind of riveted by that scene. and so you don't so much noticewhen the other shriek comes up behind you. chris hardwick: whatthe [bleep]? chris pramas: and he's goingto attack you, mage. ok, well he didn't stunt. so that's good news for you.
so let's see, 6, 9, 14. wil wheaton: yourdefense is 12. he hits you. chris pramas: so he hits you. so now your rock armor, ibelieve, gives you armor equal to your magic score. chris hardwick: yes. chris pramas: so you'vegot four. so you're going to subtract fourfrom the damage that i
roll which is nine. chris hardwick: so five. so you'll take five. now, thinli, it isyour turn to go. kevin sussman: ok. there are two thingsthat i need to do. the first is i need to doanother smell check. can i do that in combat? i mean, it can't hurt to try.
kevin sussman: i mean,now i know that the thing that i smelled-- chris pramas: yes, it'sa ferelden first. wil wheaton: oh, nice. chris pramas: you are insort of the second rank next to him. and you smelled thisthing coming. and you sort of turn aroundin time to see this shriek sticking him in the backwith these claws.
sam witwer: and you smellyour friend screaming. chris pramas: this is clearlythe acrid smell that was on the air. kevin sussman: the smellingis working. i'm able to detect things thatother people can't see. i don't have to be looking ina particular direction. it's not a bad ability. so i'm on this thing'sass now. chris pramas: so a charge willgive you a plus one bonus on
your attack roll. chris hardwick: pretendit's the woman who killed your wife. wil wheaton: yeah, and alsopretend you're smelling him. kevin sussman: they will egg meon and try to get me to a place emotionally wherei just lose my mind. and that's where i dothe most damage. chris pramas: he issmelling him. kevin sussman: yes!
so that's going to hit andit's going to stunt. and you get six stuntpoints to spend. sam witwer: damn, dude. chris hardwick: this is goodto motivate him with-- kevin sussman: i told youguys don't enrage me. wil wheaton: that's true. that's true. that's what you said. kevin sussman: can i useskirmish to move the dude
closer to the other dude. kevin sussman: and thenuse the dual strike? chris pramas: yes, youcould do that. sam witwer: so i support this. chris hardwick: yeah, i'mtotally on board with this. sam witwer: dirty elvenfighting techniques. kevin sussman: i don't evenknow what i'm doing. it's just all instinctbecause i'm enraged. ok, so you don't need to--
so you apply the resultsof your first attack to the second. so you're going tohit them both. sam witwer: my god. chris pramas: so you just rolldamage against each one. if you look in your charactersheet under your weapons there, it should say what thedamage of your short sword is. kevin sussman: short sworddamage 1 d 6 plus 5. so i'll use this.
sam witwer: eight points. chris pramas: eight. chris hardwick: roll againfor the second guy. wil wheaton: nice. 10. so i hoist myself upoff the ground. using the momentum of my maceto carry me off the ground. chris pramas: yourwell-kissed mace. wil wheaton: and a seven,eight, mother [bleep].
eight plus five, 13 this time. chris pramas: ok, you'rereal close. wil wheaton: good. i'm glad. i'm glad to be close. close is good. chris pramas: the combat withthe shrieks is taking the party a little longer than isuspected because wil's dice rolling is so bad.
wil wheaton: if i were doingthis poorly in the "dragon age" video game, i would haverage-quit long ago. but i'm having a great time roleplaying, and i'm getting to hang out with my friends. this is why tabletopgames are vastly superior to video games. i am so angry, and i wail athim with my mace again. six, seven, eight, nine. i'm not rolling well.
i'm bad at rollingdice, you guys. sam witwer: but it's fine. don't do that to yourself. wil wheaton: you want to knowwhy i tell stories in combat? sam witwer: don't doit to yourself. wil wheaton: let me tell you whyi tell stories in combat. this all started wheni was a kid. and i realized thati couldn't-- are you still there?
chris hardwick: i'm sorry. there was a sound that's becomevery familiar today where it's the sound of thedice hitting the board and then a string of expletivescoming from wil. wil wheaton: sevenplus five, 12. [bleep], [bleep], [bleep],[bleep], [bleep], [bleep]. what are the other wordsyou can't say on tv? [bleep]. i'm really sorry about that.
chris hardwick: you gota tin hand today. wil wheaton: i really do. yeah, i know. and i'm not even thecharacter with-- i have two good hands. i'm the worst dwarf ever. chris pramas: let's go. sam witwer: oh, forgod's sake. 12 is still a miss?
or does it become a hit? chris pramas: no,it was a miss. sam witwer: well,that's weird. chris hardwick: so i'm castingwinter's grasp. wil wheaton: you hit it. chris hardwick: oh, thank god. chris pramas: so you hit itwith this burst of cold. if it keeps going, you couldpotentially freeze it to death, which is good fun.
sam witwer: me and wil aresupposed to protect the party, and yet the party isprotecting us. wil wheaton: landed on a 19. chris pramas: totally a hit. sam witwer: the wizard and therogue are basically handling the battle, and we're justkind of sitting by. chris hardwick: so i getone d six plus four. three, seven. chris pramas: so he blasts thisbolt out of his staff,
hits the shriek in the chest,and at this point it shatters into icy pieces. chris hardwick: yay! chris pramas: yes, chunksof frozen shriek-- because you're short-- right in the face. wil wheaton: right inthe face, yeah. sam witwer: i start cleaningchunks of shriek out of my mullet nervously.
just, "get it off. get it off!" keegan is freaking out a littlebit at this point. and so his racism might have togo by the wayside so that he embraces the team, becausehe can't do this alone. wil wheaton: let's getback on the road. let's get out of here. so the day after yourmostly heroic combat against the shrieks--
wil wheaton: mostly? chris pramas: mostly. wil wheaton: really? chris pramas: eventually youcome to the entrance of this valley where the villageof green thorn resides. wil wheaton: oh yes. oh, it's where thequeen's boot is. chris pramas: that's correct. chris hardwick: i'veheard tales.
wil wheaton: yeah, we'regoing there. chris pramas: so looking downinto the valley you can see kind of a classic fereldenvillage. and then beyond it, toward theother end of the valley, there's like a low hillock andthen there is a big tower on top of that. sam witwer: keegan wants toask everyone if they think that we're up to this task,while still trying to clean chunks out of his mullet.
chris hardwick: ithink we are. i mean, all we have to dois find a guy in a bar. i mean, what's the-- wil wheaton: i know we'reup to this task. did you see how i handledthose guys? let's go. i walked down the hill. chris hardwick: you better rollto make sure you didn't fall on your face.
wil wheaton: ok, i'm going toroll to make sure i don't fall on my face. sam witwer: he fallson his face. [laughter] wil wheaton: do i need toroll for damage now? chris pramas: you don't. wil wheaton: come on. yeah, you don't wantsit close to me. so we're going to go downinto the village.
and can we see thequeen's boot? chris pramas: so you getdown to the village. you see a sign. there isn't writing on it,but there is a boot. so you figure that that'sprobably it. as you are approaching thesquare, you come across a sort of charnel scene where thereis five dead horses and a bunch of dead riders aswell who are just lying dead in the street.
chris hardwick: crazyparty town. wil wheaton: i think so. how far away are we fromthe queen's boot? is this like rightin front of it? chris pramas: yeah, thisis 50, 60 feet away. sam witwer: there's noone in the streets? chris pramas: no. kevin sussman: should i smellit and see how long they've been dead.
chris pramas: oh. yeah, sure. sam witwer: i just imagine thatyou smell, and then a close-up of the elven nose. and then flashbacks that tellsyou exactly what happened. wil wheaton: so "csi" shots. sam witwer: he said somethingalong the lines of, please don't kill my wife. and the children, they weretaken over there.
chris pramas: yeah, makea smelling roll. sam witwer: he's likea bloodhound. chris hardwick: he really is. smell the dice. kevin sussman: it's something. sam witwer: that'sall he gets. chris hardwick: there'sa smell here. chris pramas: based on thedecomposition smell and the flies that are being attractedto the corpses, you're going
to guess they've been deadfor about a day. wil wheaton: oh. kevin sussman: in frontof this place? wil wheaton: if they've beendead for about a day and there's nobody around,there's clearly no people in this town. chris hardwick: ok, maybe let'sdraw some weapons and then go into the queen's boot. wil wheaton: oh, in fact,one time i was all
the way down in ostagar-- chris hardwick: interesting. sam witwer: i'm goingto go into the-- wil wheaton: --and a dragonhad flown over us-- sam witwer: i want togo around the back-- chris hardwick: you can justhear it through the door. sam witwer: --see if there's aback door and enter through there, as well. just in case.
chris pramas: so as you areapproaching the inn, you hear a big thump comingfrom inside. wil wheaton: are there windowsin the front of this inn? or is it solid? chris pramas: yeah,there are windows. wil wheaton: i'll peakin a window. chris hardwick: oh, nice. wil wheaton: that's great. i'm glad that happenedon my peek check.
chris hardwick: you'rea good peeker. wil wheaton: that's 14-- 15. you see a woman, and she's gota big cleaver in her hand. and there is a shambling,pallid, bloody thing that was heading toward her, and sheplants the cleaver right in the middle of his head. and it drops to the ground. sam witwer: when you sayshambling thing, is it
humanoid or horta? chris pramas: human. wil wheaton: was itall, no kill i? and then she was like,no way, whack. chris pramas: so it looks likea corpse that was walking towards her. sam witwer: oh, goodness. wil wheaton: guy's i'veheard of this. sam witwer: sometimesthey come back.
wil wheaton: i've heardthis happening before. in fact, one time wewere down in-- chris hardwick: oh, my god. wil wheaton: --thekrakaree wilds. chris hardwick: you're going toturn me into a zombie with your story. so i'm opening the door. chris pramas: just youare walking in? chris hardwick: i'mgoing to go in to.
i feel like someone shouldsay, we're not here to attack you. just to let her know that-- sam witwer: we're notzombies, even though we're covered in blood. chris pramas: so you walk in thedoor, she has got her foot on the head of the thing and isin the process of pulling her cleaver out. and she hears the door openand kind of puts it up on
guard and it just flicks thisputrid blood at you. you've got a blood resistantleather robe. so she says, "speak and proveto me that you're alive." wil wheaton: i amgorik dunharg. perhaps you've heard of myinability to land a blow. chris hardwick: and then isay, "yeah, this [bleep] guy will speak to letyou know he's alive. and then you'll wishhe was dead." chris pramas: "last week i mighthave cared about your
inability with blows, but thisweek i'm just glad you're not dead." wil wheaton: "fair woman," hesays, "what fate has befallen your village?" chris hardwick: i'm sorryhe's talking like this. he read "the game," and that'show he talks to women. we were here to meet someoneand we noticed that there's all this stuff goingon, and we want to make sure you're ok.
and is there anythingwe can do to help? wil wheaton: thou. well, i hope you can helpbecause as far as i know i'm the only person leftin the village. everyone else is either deador they have fled. chris hardwick: thinli here hasnever been with a woman. chris pramas: that's whatyou want to talk to me about right now? chris hardwick: no, no.
i was whispering to him. you know what? if in the end it seems likenothing else is going to do it, we'll just havehim [bleep] gorik's beard whilegorik's talking. kevin sussman: my bridewas killed. you. sam witwer: i see that you hada little altercation here. what's that about?
kevin sussman: are they deador are they "dead?" chris pramas: so two nightsago in the middle of the night, these skeletal creaturesappeared and started murdering peoplein there beds. and then the next day some ofthose people got up again and started killing theirneighbors as well. that's when peoplestarted to flee. chris hardwick: howdid you survive? chris pramas: well, partof it was hiding.
part of it was being goodwith a cleaver. chris hardwick: do you knowsomeone named aldric lepoint? chris pramas: i don't. chris hardwick: haveyou seen grey wardens about these parts? chris pramas: i have not. chris hardwick: what's inthat tower across town? chris pramas: i'm going to guessthat that's where all this evil came from.
because here's the thing aboutthat tower, it wasn't here two days ago. kevin sussman: moving tower. chris hardwick: that'sbad news. wil wheaton: we shouldgo to this tower. chris hardwick: all right. wil wheaton: and when we arevictorious in the tower, just as we were on the road--remember how awesome we were on the road, you guys?
chris hardwick: eh, you're beingvery liberal with "we." i believe that we shouldhead up to that tower. i think that tower is where-- in that tower lay our fate. chris hardwick: orother stuff. sam witwer: yeah,other things. wil wheaton: where didthat tower come from? is it filled with dark spawn? and more importantly, will iever be able to roll higher
than a 12 when it matters? find out next time, when "dragonage" concludes on "tabletop." wil wheaton: we're rebels andthen we're coming to kill the queen and then they do thatstuff, and then they drove them back into the thing. and they're in the tower. and they're making themstand in the tower.
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